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Searching for a winter home

TerryM — Wed, 22 Feb 2012 17:09:46 +0000

Still searching around to find a place to call home for the winters...I know I enjoy Florida and Greece, but I don't know just where in either of those locations... I do know it must be near water...

If I had all the money in the world the search would be simple, but instead I hope to meet someone in one of those locations or perhaps another who would like a real relationship with an older man and be able to share his home with me while I share mine in Toronto with him when he visits me. Toronto and Ontario, Canada is a beautiful place to be in the summer...

True Love Never Dies

TerryM — Wed, 22 Feb 2012 17:07:10 +0000

"True love never dies
When not shared it rests lifelong within the heart
A place where solitudes of passion bring hope
for future happiness.

To know that you have loved and loved well o'er rides
the silent screams for days gone by

So fear not the end of yesterday

But better face the future with a smile..."

The Universe Works

TerryM — Wed, 22 Feb 2012 16:53:44 +0000

It occurred to me this morning that the Universe works the way it works... or as a famous Canadian politician, Pierre Trudeau once said, "No doubt the universe is unfolding as it should".

Whether we want to refer to the universe as the universe, or as God or as Allah, or any other deity name, the point is that there is a sense of order in the world that overrides anything we think we want... and the key to making it work FOR you instead of AGAINST you is in your attitude towards the challenges it brings you..

I said ATTITUDE, not necessarily reaction or at least not reaction alone.
When you look at your boss or your family, or your perceived enemies, or your perceived friends, or the situation you find yourself in but wish you weren't, or the plans you worked so hard on that went wrong, try to remember that it is the overall universe that brings everything our way and our ATTITUDE that determines how we act and react within these presentations and thus make them work for us or against us.

The best way to deal with it all is to look forward with the knowledge that everything that comes our way is a challenge to deal with.. something that makes our day interesting.. our lives interesting... no challenges equals boredom and depression; looking poorly upon the challenges equals failure and depression.

So try to lighten up with the world around you and just use all your skills and training to face the challenges with the conviction that there is nothing you can't deal with...

And have a happy rewarding life.

A Retro Social Order

TerryM — Wed, 22 Feb 2012 16:52:43 +0000

I've been thinking, as crazy as it sounds, that there never has been and probably never will be enough jobs in North America to keep the unemployment rates at 6% which is the optimal level.

So, it has occurred to me that maybe it is time for society to go back to the "one person working" social structure we used to have in the 50's... only altered slightly to reflect:

1. ONLY one of a couple goes to a salaried job... it can be either mate, male or female, or male or male in a male/male household, but only 1. The other stays at home, does volunteer work, raises the kids, perhaps has their own home based job. The rest of the family may work after the age of 18.

2. The economy then reverts to the lower family income status and reduced purchasing power overall.

3. Taxes go to a reasonable level of 30% for everyone .... wealthy or not.... with no tax for any household earning under $25,000 a year. It's time to stop thinking that various income levels should pay more tax.... it's time to recognize that taxes are the commission paid to the country to keep the country working.... has nothing to do with income... and should be a fixed rate at any income level.

4. Manageable Mortgages and rents move back to NO MORE than 25% of your NET take home pay.. NOT your gross income... that was a totally dumb level to set back in the 70's when it was set at 30% of gross income.

It's just a thought, perhaps a crazy idea....

Thoughts about Love, LIfe, God, Humanity

TerryM — Wed, 22 Feb 2012 16:49:28 +0000

THOUGHTS ABOUT LOVE, LIFE, GOD AND HUMANITY

First thought:
After spending a night with you I awaken loving not only myself and you but the entire world... Thankyou

Second Thought:
My Belief System:
God's Love is a given.. it is not something we earn, it is not something we ever lose.. it is something we are born with and it is always with us..
The Rules handed down by Christianity are rules of relationship... they are the basic stuff from which the ability to trust is created and there can be no solid relationship without trust. If we break God's rules we don't lose His love, we lose our trust in ourselves and in our ability to believe in God.. we also lose our trust in others... hence we destroy our relationships or at least damage them. A similar thing happens in human interactive relationships.. if we break the rules of our relationship we lose each others trust...but one never stops loving the other...even if sometimes that is briefly turned to hate it is only the flip side of love and it rarely ever lasts as hate. What lasts and what is almost impossible to repair is broken trust.

Third thought:
I think that we can stop looking for God to walk up to us and put His arms around us and say he loves us...that we are all right. He already has... a thousand times over. He did that the day we were born, even with all our human frailties and our orientation, He does that with every new day He gives us to live; He does that with every situation He asks us to handle; and He does that with every person He brings into our lives.
I truly believe that what we really are searching for in your life is someone to whom we can say "I love you..I truly do"... and feel the freedom to express that, and that that person will be someone who truly loves us back. We have that with our parents as do we all, but now we need to find that with someone with whom we can share our futures.

Fourth thought:
The basis of partnership whether it be marriage or business is that both partners establish a relationship of trust, love and commitment towards a common goal.
In the usual marriage that may be nothing more than support for one another and to raise a family together.
In many usual marriages as well as in our orientation of marriage, that could be nothing more than support for each other or it could also be as noble as a common cause for the good of mankind of some sort...outside of ourselves.
For example it is possible for you to find a partner who believes in what you are trying to accomplish with your life and wants to support you through the trials and tribulations of reaching your goals...of helping you take flight, and of course, vice versa.

Fifth thought:
There does not need to be trust in a relationship between a father and son or a mother and son...there only needs to be love...because the child and the parent are not expected to spend their lives living together and supporting one another emotionally and sexually. Trust between parents and children is a blessing but not a need.
In a relationship between two people who have formed a bond of partnership on an equal footing the trust must be there or the relationship will never develop as deeply as it can.
This is why, once I decide to make a commitment to someone it is total commitment.....it is not a guarantee that God will let us be together for life, but it is a guarantee that as long as God will let us be together I can be trusted to honor our commitments to each other. That's just what I am all about and some people may be right that that is unusual in our lifestyle. However... unusual or not...that is just the way it is..

Final Thought:
Without love, commitment and trust a human relationship can never reach its full potential. The fact that the alternative orientation lifestyle may be lacking one or all three of these things in a relationship does not mean that that is the way it should be. Indeed if you look at probably a majority of usual marriages it is not there either... if your parents found it, then for that you are fortunate...you have a model to carry you into your own life and lifestyle... don't lose it... it is worthwhile, it can happen, and if you stick to wanting it, it will happen.

And remember, God Already Loves you.... now it is up to you to find a way to carry out your mission in life within the confines of life....

Enough thoughts for the day...thank you for letting me share them

This information is copyrighted. Reproduction in any form without written permission is forbidden
Copyright Â©1975-2010. J.T. Mitchell. All rights reserved

The Essence of Pain

TerryM — Wed, 22 Feb 2012 16:34:53 +0000

It's been said all before but worth mentioning again. Pain is a reminder of life, of love, of want, of hope, of care, of the world around us. It is with pain that we find the deepest of our emotions, and the depth of our souls.

Whether the pain is physical or emotional or mental, it reminds us that we are alive, that we feel, that we love and that we care. For without these things there is no pain; there are only events; there is no life, there is only existence.

That cut on the finger hurts, but we take the time to tend to it, to nurse it, to watch over it until it heals. That reminds us of how much we care about ourselves and about those around us. It is a reminder in a day of carefree joy, that the silly thing we did, without care, was dangerous and led us to an injury. It was thoughtless and it scared our loved ones. It was hurtful of others because it was disrespectful of ourselves. It brings us to task, pulls us up tight, draws in our energies, and gives us back our control over our actions; a reminder that the loss of control can lead to danger. If we are wise and listen to the little painful injuries along the way we avoid the major life-threatening injuries later. If we ignore the little injuries we run the risk of losing the things we care the most about because of our careless actions.

So it is with emotional injuries. We do stupid things to each other, say stupid things, and innocently hurt one another. This happens no matter how much we are in love. But, if we remember to stop and take stock of what we've done then we avoid the major hurts that bring lifelong pain. That silly moment where we thought it was more important to be true to ourselves than to our loved ones; to get that job done for the boss and to heck with being there for the special event in our partner's life, and so many other unthinking things that can occur in the everyday mix of life. Even when this is done with the best of intent we often forget that our partner will hurt for it and so will our relationship regardless of what our partner says. This is a hurt, a pain, that must be cared for, nursed, until it is no longer a damaging event, but instead, healed over, forgotten and forgiven. We must be sufficiently aware of each other's emotions to know when the state of healing, forgiving and forgetting has actually occurred. And when that state is reached, we are grateful that we took the time to attend to the pain; we are thankful that the pain was there to warn us.. to help us find a path to health once again.

We are thankful for life..

This information is copyrighted. Reproduction in any form without written permission is forbidden
Copyright Â©1975-2010. J.T. Mitchell. All rights reserved.

Cutting Back on or Quitting an Addiction

TerryM — Wed, 22 Feb 2012 16:30:35 +0000

Cutting Back On or Quitting Alcohol or Tobacco
(Not meant to be used by anyone who has a serious alcohol problem)

The following are some observations gleaned over the years that will assist anyone who is trying to cut back on or quit their alcohol consumption. If you have a serious problem with alcohol classified as â€œalcoholismâ€, please see a trained medical professional for advice.

For the average individual who just drinks too often and occasionally too much, or who is trying to quit tobacco, quitting is still difficult. These observations might assist you:

The Difficult Things: (The really neat things follow)

Prone to irritability (Because your system doesn't like the fact that you aren't feeding it alcohol or tobacco anymore.

Tired a great deal (because your system has been used to an artificial stimulant rather than using its own resources such as adrenalin and it isn't receiving this artificial stimulant any more.) Focus on other stimulants while your body recovers and manages to use its own resources. Safer stimulants are: coffee, sodas, exercise, etc.

Desire to quit everything and everyone. Because your mind is trying to get you to deny that you want to quit alcohol or tobacco, (this is induced by your system's dependency).. it is saying "No don't quit me!.. quit all the other things that matter to you but don't quit me!!!"

Occasionally feel like you are going to die. Because, in a way, the personality that depended on alcohol or tobacco is dying, but is being replaced with a stronger, more independent and self-assured personality.

Complete frustration with day to day stresses. Because your system has been used to harboring irritation and anger inside and not dealing with it when it occurs. Your system has been used to letting it build up until it wants to explode and then it craves alcohol or tobacco to lessen the stress. However, this means that the stress is never really dealt with, just postponed. Also, the alcohol and tobacco just create more stress. Instead, focus on dealing with individual annoyances when they occur and find small, simple ways to correct them as they occur.

Inability to focus on responsibilities. This is because the alcohol or tobacco trigger is trying to regain control and stop you from growing and facing responsibility. Alcohol and tobacco function as a means of never maturing and allowing yourself to become the caring, concerned, committed, responsible adult you know you are inside. To overcome this, go for a walk, lift some weights, get your energy back. Let it be physical energy you get back and not drugged energy. You'll find that when you are tired and listless, lifting a few weights or getting light exercise actually gives you back your energy. But this means lifting light weights, not overdoing it.

The really neat things:

Feeling of increased self worth. Each minute, each hour and each day that you stay away from alcohol or tobacco means that you are in control, you are the boss, over you! finally!not the alcohol. You will start to have tiny impulses of feeling good about yourself and then there will be negative thoughts about yourself (this is the alcohol or tobacco personality trying to win again! remember this every minute you are quitting.) The more you just say no! or some other strong insult to the negative inner thoughts, the more the positive inner thoughts will surface and the more you will really feel like smiling.

Gradual recovery of inner strength. As your body learns to function without the stimulant, the adrenalin gland begins to kick in again and gives you back your inner energy. This is a more settled, subtle energy, rather than a nervous energy. It will be slow returning, but it will return. Just give it time. You should notice a change by the third week.

Recovery of short term memory. Your memory will start to improve each week and each month that you are away from alcohol and tobacco.

The six month awakening. This is one the most powerful, incredible, wholesome, wonderful feelings you will ever experience, and it occurs almost to the day of six months. It is inner peace, inner strength, inner warmth, arising from the alcohol and tobacco being totally flushed from your system; and yes it does take six months to be completely out of your system. I hope your loved one is there with you in the morning when you first wake up and say as I did many years ago Oh my God it is really true! I suddenly feel wonderful!! From this point on you never need to worry about fighting the chemical dependency again.. it is now out of your system but you need to continue to find ways to deal with all the stresses and problems that make you feel like you want to go back to alcohol or tobacco.

This is the true gist of handling dependency whether it is alcohol or tobacco or food, even.

Feel good about YOU

DEAL with issues as they arrive

FACE UP to your responsibilities and stresses, and don't run from them

REACH OUT for help from family and friends and loved ones. You are not alone, and you can't do everything alone. Don't be afraid of that..welcome that!

And finally to really simplify your life, one day, come to terms with the reality that there is a God and He/She/It is always with you even when the people around you seem to let you down..God never does. He/She/It doesn't always give you what you want, but you always receive what you need.

So the acronym to recovery is YOU DEAL FACE UP and REACH OUT (Try doing this right now, and you'll find you stand up, with your head held high and your arms extended out as if reaching from something. That is the inner and outer posture for success.)

I hope this helps some of you and if it does please let me know

Hearts and Darts

admin — Wed, 22 Feb 2012 03:36:07 +0000

It's the right thing to do but that doesn't mean anyone does it... give a heart instead of a dart.... think before you speak and you'll find that happiness is infectious.